Heston services reopen today

Or rather, the Fat Duck, eaterie of oleaginous celebrity - dread word - chef Heston Whazizname. The mystery of what made 40 diners, or was it 400? unwell remains a mystery, but Sir Compton knows the answer. It's the chef wot made people sick - nothing to do with his food. People are just sick of him. Stop piss-balling around on television and get back to your beurre blanc enfused with shredded otter frenulum. Gobshite.