Burlington berk

To Burlington House, the Royal Academy of Arts free exhibitions - such as they are - being an interesting pastime. This is because not many half-term gawpers find their way there, and those who do are belittled in that special way known only to shop and gallery staff in and around Piccadilly. So, gallery assistant with big hair and thick specs is unsparing when we bumble ticketless into a ticket-only show. "The box office is downstairs, sir. £9 each it'll be." Quite mortifyingly awful.

Went into some of the John Madejski rooms to goggle at portraits of founder academicians plus an Alma Tadema portrait of his daughter holding a pot of flowers. Her face has an almost photographic quality but the girl looks puzzled, searching. Something to do perhaps with the fact that it was painted shortly after her mother, Alma Tadema's first wife, had died and he had taken up with, and in fact married, a pupil of his. Parents are such bastards.